The kind of boats I do not laugh at

I don't really like boats... maybe that's because one of my ex-whores used to cheat on me behind
my back with some schmuck in a fishing dinghy... Or maybe it's because that's just what most boats are:
Entertainment for people easily entertained. Then I remembered Cigarette Racing and the Miss Geico twin-turbine boat,
these machines have power outputs up to 8000 horses and reach speeds of over 210 miles per hour...
That's close to 350 kilometers an hour on water. It just shows that, wherever there are schmucks, there are people that make life worth
living as well. Now where do I get my boating license??